Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
