Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
