so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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