i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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