And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
