it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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