Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
