we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
