why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
wow bdsm is so cute
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
