it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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