So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
