I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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