he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
