Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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