nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
