420 ftw
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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