should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
