How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
