white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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