if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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