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Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
