Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
