Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
