I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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