1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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