Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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