who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
