i barfeds in our rink
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
