You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
