we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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