I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
