I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
