i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
