just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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