we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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