Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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