You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
