I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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