WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
