"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
