Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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