I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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