apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
