Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
