He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
