I just made out with a guy for $7.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
