I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Your face is a jimmy john
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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