Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
