K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
