she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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