I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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